Thursday, July 30, 2009

Weis Apologizes to Redheads, Stepchildren

SOUTH BEND (BH) - Just hours after University of Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin was forced to back away from controversial comments he made regarding Notre Dame, Irish coach Charlie Weis found himself apologizing for his own inappropriate statement.
During an address to The Monogram Club, Weis told the audience that Hawaii had been "beaten like a redheaded stepchild" during Notre Dame's 49-21 Hawaii Bowl victory over them in December. The comment drew immediate criticism from members of America's Redheaded Stepchildren (ARS), a group formed to combat negative stereotypes of it's nearly 42 members. ARS president, a ginger-haired firebrand named Sean McInernay, angrily asserted that, "to associate redheaded stepchildren with the kind of weak, pathetic and wholly unathletic performance of the University of Hawaii football team is an atrocious slur." McInernay then sobbed together a few disjointed sentences about "a father's love being forever" and "not being accepted hurts more than a belt buckle" before he was helped away from the podium.
In response, Weis admitted he had crossed a line, "I should never have said that. Because of their difficulty with exposure to natural light and seemingly inherent inability to provoke feelings of love or respect, redheaded stepchildren often grow into tough, hardened and resilient adults. In other words, they are the complete opposite of anything having to do with Hawaii's football program. I am deeply sorry." In conclusion, Weis added, "Is it me or does it seem kind of weird that someone who coaches a team that, until recently, was known as the Rainbow Warriors has a problem with gay people? Projecting much?" Calls to Greg McMackin's office went unreturned as the coach was busy angrily suppressing his inner desires through homophobic invective.

Sean McInernay knows how you feel...

2 comments:

al said...

hilarious, oh and michigan sucks

OC Domer said...

Very nice. I especially like that Mackin drops this F-bomb months AFTER his "warriors" got run off the field by the Irish. You'd think getting his ass handed to him would have instilled a little more respect.